
- Well I am posting this very important Top 10 List I received from the girl who saved my life. August 29, 2006 from “My Favorite Boob Girl “ my mammographer.
Remember to have your
Annual Check up & Mammo
Hey! I hope you are doing well. I received your emails and thought.....I wish I could post a list similar to this in the mammo waiting area.....
1. Please do not use powders, deodorant, perfumes or lotions; however, a quick shower prior to reporting for your mammogram is appreciated!!!
2. Physicians....Please explain to your patient that wearing lotion during a mammogram will cause your droopy, booby to slide away from the mammographer's hands while positioning. I mean really ladies....mammography’s would make a lot more money working nights in the lotion pit at Sammy's...we don't need you to slather up to remind us!
3. Ladies.....Powder stays in creases no matter how many wipes you use. Thus the rule...Don't wear powder under your Double G boobs. And for the not so bright.....WE ARE TALKING ABOUT BODY POWDER. Why do patients insist on telling me that they can't leave home without their Vagisil crotch powder in our extreme climate????
4. The culmination of your mammogram should not lead to celebratory perfume spraying in the mammography department. I smell like a French Whore some days after two patients!!
5. Please do not threaten the mammographer with bodily harm upon entering the mammography department. This will only lead to an aggressive struggle for power. GUESS WHAT??? THE ONE THAT HAS TO RUN AROUND THAT GLASS TO MAKE THE PICTURE HAS THE POWER!!!!!
6.Please do not ask the mammographer....."Did you really go to school to do this????" Yes I did and aren't you glad when I save your life?
7. I am a mammographer.......My life is a boob joke and no I don't need you to tell me about the email that you received telling you "how to prepare for a mammogram."
8. Please don't ask....is this what you do all day??? The answer is YES!!! or would you rather hear, "No, I'm just filling in for the mammographer. I hope she hurries up though....I have 40 toilets to scrub before lunch!!"
9. Please think about the breast history questions that you are being asked prior to blurting out something irrelevant and stupid. Example: Is there a family history of breast cancer? "Why yes, my husband's family has a very strong history."
And Last but not Least
10. When asked. Are you having any problems with your breasts? Please don't whine.....Well they're not as perky as they used to be. Really??? Well let me step out and place a call to the CDC. I think we are having an epidemic!!!!!
Just a little professional mammo humor!!!! As you know...I am always professional and would never express any of these views to my patients.
Lots of love
From Zana's favorite Booby Girl